i am a wreck.

i miss people.
i'm stressed about these big life-changes. i know i shouldn't be, i know i need to trust the Lord...but the truth is, there are seasons of stress in life-- and i'm in one right now.
i'm worried about money. again, i know that God will take care of it...but that doesn't make the worry go away.
i'm sad that my family had to put my dog, Phoebe, to sleep. i knew it was coming-- she's been sick for quite a while-- but that doesn't make it any better. i didn't even get to say goodbye.
i feel deprived of affection. i have friends here that i've seen regularly since i've been back to reality are not touchy-feely-let's-hug-and-snuggle type people. physical touch is my number one love language...and nobody around me speaks it.
everything is up in the air... i just wish there was something i could hold onto.
i can't seem to find time to do anything...but i feel like i'm never doing anything.
i'm hardly ever truly alone...but i feel lonely. but, ironically, i just want some time alone.
time with God. i feel dehydrated and disoriented.
and sometimes i feel like i'd rather be dead.
sad but true.