The Lord is good and His mercies will not fail us... they are new each day...

Half of my tuition was due today. If i didn't get it in today, my classes would be dropped.

As of this time yesterday I had made as many phone calls, sent as many emails, and tried every possible thing i could in order to get that money. By 7pm last night I completely laid myself before God and said, "Look-- you brought me here. If school is not where i'm supposed to be spending my time, then so be it! I'm here because of you, Lord. Provide and guide where you see fit." After that, i had a peace... that the Lord was going to do what was right for my life-- whether that meant a financial miracle, or taking a semester off.
I woke up early this morning even though i didn't have classes, made some coffee, and sat in the office wondering what God was going to do. It was really cool because i felt completely in the middle of his will... i had no idea whether i would still be enrolled by the end of today, or if i would be calling the Beacon's executive director about needing a full-time job. Even though I was consumed by this huge unknown, in my complete and total vulnerability, i knew God was at work. It is so awesome to feel God's work... i cannot even explain it.
I got a phone call from my mom this morning, asking if anything had worked out yet. After i told her no, she informed me that someone from KRCC offered to loan me the money i need until my student loan comes in. PRAISE JESUS. Seriously all i could say was thank you... God is so good. He continually reminds me to trust him even to the last minute, that he will not fail me; He reminds me that in my insecurities and fear he is my strength.

"Job said to the Lord: I know you can do all things. No plan of yours can be thwarted." Job 42:1-2

i'm scared.

i have to keep reminding myself that with God on my side, no one or thing can be against me.

i have to keep reminding myself that God isn't going to say, "alright, i got you here... just chill i'll be back later."

i have to keep asking God to pull me out of this lonesome funk. I have friends here... i'm about to have more once school starts... but i'm so nervous about school.

i keep thinking maybe i shouldn't be at U.N.O. this semester... but then i remember that God wouldn't have opened the door if it wasn't supposed to be... right? i guess we'll find out when He provides (or doesn't provide) tuition...

i've never lived completely alone, and i get kinda scared at night. i can't wait for the next volunteer group to get here.


i'm so thankful that the Lord has put Brandy in my life. She says things to me that Carin would say... and that's a good thing. Even thought we just met, i feel like i can be honest with her and i know she'll call me out if necessary. She's like Carin, Pam, and Kim all put together. What a fun combo.

i went to church last night instead of this morning... most of the young adults go to the saturday night service, so Brandy and i went (since she already knows a lot of the group at Celebration, even though she doesn't go there). After the service i hooked up with Tony and Lindsay, the 20-something minister and his wife. Lindsay and I swapped stories (briefly) and she was really excited that i had decided to come back to Celebration and told me she'd be in touch b/c the girls were getting ready to have a "night in"... i think i've found a good group here. it's awesome being at a church that has a ministry group for people my age... no offense to KRCC... i guess you can't really have a 20-something ministry if there's not enough 20-somethings in the congregation. So yeah... i think i've found my church here-- which is exciting!
Exciting... right... as soon as i get out of this funk i'll be able to appreciate the excitement a little more, lol. i think i'm just PMSing. let's hope so anyway.

The best thing i've heard this week so far?? It rarely gets colder than the 40's here. SCORE.
Something else that's awesome: Pensacola, Florida is only 2.5-3 hours away from here. hmmm...

for some reason i have a strong desire to start smoking again...i'm about to have a nic-fit.
grrrr... get out of here, random cravings!