i don't do new years' resolutions.

The fact of the matter is, everyday i am new in Christ-- just because it's a new year doesn't make a whole lot of difference. Truth be told, though, it does encourage thoughts of change, growth, and new beginnings.

that being said, i have a goal for myself: an oldie but a goody, i guess...

i have to quit smoking. i didn't want to start again anyway-- lack of self control, however, caused me to slide back down the slippery slope of nicotine addiction. Other than the obvious reasons (health risks and such), i have a few others...

1. the number one reason in the forefront of my mind: it's preventing me from having a relationship. granted, there are many other things too, but i started thinking about it: i don't want to date a smoker, so i can't expect a non-smoker to be interested in me if i'm still smoking. the particular individual i have in mind has never voiced an opinion of my habit (or of ME for that matter...), so i don't know where he stands-- but i figure it can't hurt to get rid of an unattractive attribute, right??

2. i have children. no, they're not mine, but they do idolize me and look to me for guidance. They don't know i smoke, but that's beside the point: i don't want to do anything that i wouldn't want them to do. (did that make sense?) plus, i think my sisters know i'm smoking again, and they don't need their older sister being a bad influence.

3. it's gross. 90% of the time when i'm smoking i'm disgusted with myself. But like all of my other previous addictions, it's just gotten to a point that i do it because i "need" to-- because it's just part of the routine, part of what i do.

bottom line: i'm going to quit smoking. *cringe* it's not going to be easy. it wasn't the first time. but it has to be done. i've decided i'm going to put post-its up (in my car, room, etc) with my top 3 reasons, try to start running again (that helped tremendously the last time), and hope that all of my friends will do what they can to encourage me.


i'm really torn about going back to New Orleans. I mean... it's home to me now, there's no doubt about that. but my heart is tied to a few things here in St. Louis, and i recollect these ties when i come back to visit.
not to mention, i'm less than excited about classes starting on the 14th. i'm only in 1 studio art class this semester, and those are the classes that keep me sane. let's see what's on the menu for spring... intermediate painting, art history I, english: Brit. Lit 1, and intro to computer science (blech.)
Painting: yay.
Art History: hard, but i love it.
English: tedious-- pretty sure i took the equivalent of this class in high school.
Comp Sci: i probably know enough to test out of this class... but that's not an option.
whatever. i gotta quit worrying about 2 weeks from now when i don't even know what's in store tomorrow.

tomorrow... dentist, yearly checkup with my pcp, and taking Peanut to the vet. all fun things.

love new chucks :)