we had a thunderstorm today. i love thunderstorms. i spent my afternoon lying on the couch at the Beacon finishing my current read (the Oath by Frank Peretti).
then, on my way home i had to stop at the grocery store to get some milk, so i went to the new Robert's Market (pronounced RoBEARs...silly french...) up the street; and lo and behold while i was in St. Louis they opened a brand new Goodwill, mere BLOCKS away from my house. I LOVE GOODWILL, and i have yet to find one close by since i moved here. Now i DEFINITELY know this is where God wants me: a Starbucks a few blocks in one direction and a Goodwill a few blocks the other direction. Hallelujah.
i've felt pretty good the last few days: i've started doing yoga in the evenings, eating healthier snacks, and drinking a lot more water during the day. plus i'm still goin' strong with quitting smoking. it's been hard, though... sometimes i feel like i don't even want to quit-- but i know i need to. i wish the cravings would just completely go away-- that'd make it way easier, lol.
ya know what else would make it easier?? if my face would clear up. i came to the conclusion that smoking is what was causing my acne... but i haven't smoked in a little over a week, and it's not looking any better. needless to say, that stifles my motivation a bit. not to mention now i'm just stumped, and trying to figure out why the heck my skin won't quit being ridiculous.
it's whatever.
ya know what else won't quit being ridiculous? my subconscious. ever since i've moved to NOLA i've had crazy-weird dreams. (interestingly, i didn't have any overly strange dreams while i was back in St. Louis, tho.) I keep having very vivid, detail-oriented dreams about all kinds of crazy stuff... selling alligators on the black market with Chelsea, living in a hut that was actually a college dorm, having a baby and my brother getting mad & trying to kill her, not to mention endless dreams about doing all kinds of drugs and/or getting back together with exboyfriends.
i swear, if Alex shows up in one more dream i'm going to scream... i never dreamed about him when we were dating, and we've been broken up for more than 2 years now. I don't have any feelings left for him, bad or good, and he's not even remotely a part of my life, but when i have these dreams i end up thinking about him off and on through the whole following day, and, frankly, i don't like it. When the dreams first started i thought, well, maybe i'm supposed to talk to him-- witness to him, even! But i don't have any of his newer contact information, and apparently he's blocked me on facebook (whatever that's supposed to mean...). So i nixed that idea. Then i thought, ok, so maybe i'm just supposed to pray for him... so i do. Whenever i have a dream about him i say a short prayer for him the next day. But i mean, SERIOUSLY... if God wants me to pray for him, is there any other way he could tell me? Because, honestly, dreams about us getting back together only freak me out. a lot.
well anyway... i guess i should try to sleep.
i hope my subconscious takes the night off tonight.
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