1. my anxiety and depression is rearing its ugly head... and all i want to do is not feel like i'm bipolar. one minute i feel happy as a hippo and the next i'm stressed and just feel like crying and lying in my bed for a week. or two. or ten.
2. i'm a failure. i bought a pack of cigarettes. but it made me ill so i guess that's a good thing.
3. the boys are NOT LISTENING TO ME and it's driving me absolutely INSANE. Every time i asked Mitchell to do something today, i had to say it at least 5 times... not to mention a couple of times he just stood there, sighed, and said, "AWW COME ONNNN" in a whiny voice that makes me want to scream. Seriously now... this has GOT to stop.
4. I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO. I wish i could've known about a fourth of this last week when i was doing nothing but being bored out of my skull. I'm trying to just get into the swing of things, because usually once i get going i start loving the business and the adrenaline rush of being overwhelmed... but right now it just sucks. The anxiety of it is making me shut down. I don't know how on earth i'm going to get homework done this semester; i have 3 academic classes instead of just 2-- which means a lot more reading/writing homework. I'm usually helping the boys with their homework until about 5:30 or 6, then i make dinner, do dishes, make sure the kids get their baths, and try (TRY TRY TRY) to get them in bed by 9 (but that NEVER happens because they are so bad about stalling bedtime). But then by 9 i have to go around and pick up the house, take the dog out, do my own homework, do yoga (it HAS to be a permanent piece of my schedule), and take a shower. By the time all that's done it's like... 5am. lol. i don't know how this is going to work.
5. And to top it all off... i'm having like NO quiet times. My schedule is chaotic and even though quiet time is what i need the most right now, it's like the last thing on my to do list... which is probably why i feel like everything is going wrong... i'm too focused on myself and not enough on the Lord.
((God, please take this dark cloud away from my life. Keep me focused. Help me to notice the moments you give me to read your word and spend more time with you.))
1 comment:
I am praying for you. Sorry if i unnecessarily unloaded on you last night - i feel selfish. Recognizing the lack of God is the first step towards making the time.
And the Cigarette's ....i hope you threw the rest of them away... let me know.
I love you regardless and I'll be praying for you HARD CORE.
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